I Can’t Breath

She woke up. It wasn’t a dream. Her perfect life was falling apart.

How did they get here? Honestly, she had no clue. She had been so busy taking care of the kids that she hadn’t even realized he was unhappy or anything was really that bad. How could she? They were barely married when they started their family and life after that was just 24/7 busy. Busy taking care of babies.

She didn’t believe in divorce. Well she did, but it was for other people. Divorce. She thought that surely must be the end of the world. Divorce. Sharing kids. The thought that he could someday remarry and another woman might be helping parent her kids. She was sick. She couldn’t breath. She thought “How God?” But it looked like it was happening. He didn’t even seem to care. He didn’t seem the least bit remorseful about the affair. He was covered in black. She didn’t believe a word he said. Her trust was shattered.

She had no choice. She went to an attorney. She wondered if everyone cried their eyes out to divorce attorneys? Does anyone want a divorce? She didn’t, but he cheated. That was a Biblical reason, right?

Days passed. She checked out as much as she could, then some days she just put on the happy face for the kids and pretended for a few minutes that everything was still fine. It wasn’t. She was going to be divorced, but she had to get a job. She had to be smart. She couldn’t leave until she could take care of her babies, alone.

She got through the days because people were praying. She only breathed because she could feel His presence. She was clinging to Him. God was sustaining her. She couldn’t quit, she had babies to care for. God was breathing for her. She thought how much she hated this place and yet this place was down in the valley where she could only see when she looked up. Looking up into Him.

This horrible place in the valley made her shut out the rest of the distractions. The only thing that was constant and brought peace was God. God never left her side. God was giving her peace.

One day, he spoke. He told her she was still married and He was commanding her to love her husband because he was still her husband on that day. She said it was so clear, she had to obey. She served Him, by serving her husband. That act of love marked a turning point. It was only a matter of days before God did a work in her husband. Obedience.

Many years later, still with struggles they are married. They aren’t perfect, but their story is still being written.

lav holding hands

God heals. God can help you forgive. God can restore. God can take our biggest mess and turn it into something for His glory.

Thank you to a friend for letting us share their story.  To God be the Glory!!

Lavender & Armour